I had just pitched into a nice down hill left hand sweeper when ‘oh f… !?!’ around the corner comes 2 buses overtaking side by side, taking up all the road ! hand full of not so wonderful brakes – exit right, into the mulga – lose the front in the dirt – Ouch ! some skin off arm and one taco eliminated from the Eliminator.

Important lesson learnt – Vietnamese drivers don’t give a shit about overtaking on blind corners – so if you want to ride quick, always have an escape route, or you might end your holiday in a Vietnamese Hospital or worse !

This was the only ‘moment’ in a 22 day tour of Vietnam, that was put together by John Cayless, Asian Experience - a Victorian based tour organiser, in conjunction with Saigon Tours who supplied the bikes. Two Kawasaki 400’s; 3 Honda CB550’s; and 2 Yamaha 750 Virago’s (all ex Police) which they had borrowed/hired from a Saigon Motorcycle Club who had the privilege of owning and riding bikes bigger than 175cc – the limit in Vietnam for your average person. Along with the bikes was an air-conditioned bus for tours and sight seeing every other day when we weren’t riding the bikes.

Accommodation was in Hotels, which were good to excellent and included breakfast, which varied from your basic fruit and cereal to interesting things like noodle soup, dried fish, pickled eggs, snake rice, prawns, etc.

The bike riding consisted of a local on one of the Hondas, with a red flag up front, passing trucks and going through towns he would operate the siren ! All us Aussies followed (except when I got the shits with his slow speed on mountain roads and pissed off ahead at a speed I was happy with !). Behind, followed the bus with driver, tour leader, who spoke English and bike mechanic – well he worked on the bikes regularly, but didn’t seem to have much idea. My bike, for example, was the newest and best looking of the bunch, but from the time I threw a leg over it had an electrical problem that would come and go despite much tugging, cutting and joining of wires by the ‘mechanic’ who usually spent half an hour each morning getting mine to start – it was a bit like a woman – the good looking ones always give you the most trouble !

The Tour started in Ho Chi Minh City in the South of the country. The locals still call it Saigon; and its hot and humid at 34 - 38° c. Here there are 6 million people and 1.5 million motorcycles, all under 150cc. Traffic drives on right hand side – when they’re not in the middle of the road. Traffic rules, as near as I can work out, are ‘give and take’ –

GIVE way to anything bigger than you –

TAKE a chance and push/bluff your way through intersections or oncoming traffic.

BUT, ABOVE ALL – HAVE A LOUD HORN and use it continually to make your presence known !

A 65Km trip from Saigon brought us to the Ku Chi Tunnels – first started in 1940 by the poorly equipped peasant army to fight the French, and then, the Americans. The tunnels are 100kms. In length and even went into the American Base. They had living areas, storage, weapon factories, kitchens and command centres. Entrances were well camouflaged and very small so that only tiny people could fit. Tunnels were also booby trapped.

Also worth visiting in Saigon was the War Museum, previously called the Museum of American War Atrocities and still has many gruesome photos – interesting to see the history of the war as told by the Vietnamese !! From Saigon we rode to Dalat, 308 kms, altitude 1475m. A pleasant ride once out of the city through narrow country roads surrounded by distant hills, to high country with a much more pleasant climate.

A day of sight seeing then back on the bikes for a 200km ride to Nha Trang – an attractive resort town with stunning beaches and coastal scenery. A boat trip the next day to a nearby island with some swimming and snorkeling amongst coral and tropical fish. Back on the boat and another stop at another island for a seafood lunch of fish and crab, weighed live and then cooked on a charcoal fire – washed down with copious amounts of not so cold local beer - and all very cheap.

Next day ride is from Nha Trang to Qui Nhon, 240kms and the hottest of the trip at 38° c, but beautiful coast line, fairly good roads and many corners. We stayed at Hotel Seagull, located on the beach. Very basic, mainly occupied by locals – government run, and it shows !

Next day, from Qui Nhon to Pleiku, 197kms and best ride so far, on good roads with minimal traffic and a nice climb up the mountains to cooler weather. Care is needed on mountain climbs passing buses and trucks and on corners where they have been, as nearly all have a peculiar total loss cooling system, consisting of a tank of water on the roof which drains through the motors cooling system to discharge hot water from a little spout about motorcycle axle height onto the road. If you pass too close, you get a hot shower, if you hit the water trail, cranked over in a corner, you’re on your ass – watch out!!

In Pleiku we did the tourist thing, visiting the local sights including the ‘Ethnic Minority’, or Vietnamese Abo’s, who live in simple huts about a metre off the ground with internal fires. They have not yet invented the chimney, so the house is full of smoke. Three or four families live in the one house – a bit like some of Australia’s ‘Ethnic Minorities’ – but at least our’s have invented the chimney.

Back on the bikes the next day for the same ride down the mountain, but this time with the altercation with the two buses that I mentioned earlier ! A bit of duct tape on the bike to hold the tacho together, and the ride continues back to the same hotel.

On the road again – Qui Nhon to Hoi An, 275kms, a long ride by Vietnamese standards, so we decided to leave early to beat the heat. We ride 4 kms to get fuel at garage and for some stupid reason the mechanic decides its time to give all the bikes an oil change ! – why he could not have done this at the end of the day’s ride, or even why they needed an oil change at all (we had only done 1000kms) was beyond us ! So we sat around for 30 minutes – so much for our early start. Oil change done – back on the bikes – flat tyre – mechanic pumps it up. Vietnamese mechanics don’t fix anything if they can avoid it – just keep pumping it up when the air leaks out.

Hoi An is just south of Da Nang and China Beach, a couple of names made familiar from the War and its publicity. Hoi An is the place to go for cheap tailor made clothes – a full suit will cost you around $50 and a silk shirt, $20.

We visited China Beach – famous American R & R hangout from the war – its just a big beach with not much surf and warm tropical water (too warm). Nearby villagers carve marble statues – eagles, lions, etc. but no motorbike statues - so I wasn’t interested. If you did make a purchase, they organise freight to Australia.

Da Nang is a large river port in about the middle of the country, and hence, was used by both the French and later the Americans as a base for their military campaigns. On our departure we were caught in a huge traffic jam waiting 2 hours to cross a bridge. After conferring with our guide we were astounded to find out that there was an alternate route, but as it was half an hour longer he chose this one – we soon had the bus backed up and turned around to get us home !! Two hour wait versus half hour longer drive – Vietnamese logic has got me ?!

The next day is our last ride on the bikes. Hoi An to Hue –140 kms – and over a small mountain range with excellent views up and down the coast. This proved too much for one of the old Hondas – it seized ! This was by far the worst bike of the lot, blowing lots of smoke and having completely shot shocks. Phil, from Kununurra, W.A., deserved a medal for putting up with it so far (he has a shed full of 6 cylinder bikes, including a turbo charge CBX Honda he imported from the States) but this was the last straw, despite the mechanic throwing a bucket of water over it and getting it going, Phil refused to ride it and retired to the bus, allowing the mechanic to enjoy all its lack of performance and suspension.

Hue found us at the best Hotel of the trip. It is huge and recently refurbished, having been built by the French during the 40’s when the City was the country’s capital under French rule. Here we did the usual tourist thing, visiting temples and the ruins of the Forbidden City that was largely blown away by the Yanks during the War.

Our next mode of transport was an overnight train from Hue to Hanoi – "the Reunification Express" – what an experience – we had 1st class sleepers. This gives you a meal; rice and chicken, a 4 bunk compartment , a ceiling fan and metal mesh on the windows to keep out the rocks that the local kids throw at the train as it passes through their villages. It was very hot, but nightfall and the garbage bin full of beer and ice we smuggled on board made it bearable to even pleasant!

The view from the train as the moon rose over the ever-changing hills and fields of the countryside was truly beautiful – an experience I will never forget.

Day break – and we were at Hanoi Railway Station – very tired and exhausted. A short trip in the waiting air conditioned bus (all of 2 blocks) and we retired for an hour or two in our Hotel before a cyclo (3 wheel pedal powered) tour of the city.

After a few beers in a Bar frequented by some Aussies we heard about a restaurant that was run by an Aussie who sold Aussie meals – by this time we were keen for some home food. Getting there was not so easy – we took 2 taxis – showed the address card to both, unfortunately, ours had no idea. We knew roughly where it was and we could tell he had taken us in the opposite direction. We suggested he take us back to the Hotel, which he did. More directions, and he still went the wrong way ! Enough is enough ! We got out ! Took another cab – no problems. Arrived in a few minutes and enjoyed a nice T Bone.

Next day we were off to Halong Bay in the bus – 5 hrs of terrible roads, including two punt river crossings, brought us to the shores of Halong Bay. This is where one of the James Bond movies was filmed. Enjoyed a boat ride to Islands – a bit like the Whitsundays – explored lime stone caves and had a swim in clear warm waters.

A seafood lunch cooked on the boat on the way back to the Mainland, then a 5 hr trip back to Hanoi. Back to Aussie restaurant for our last dinner in Vietnam, then back to Australia the next day.

Not a day’s rain in the whole length of the trip - just lucky, as tropical rain is more usual.

Vietnam is a cheap and interesting destination – try it while it lasts !

Dave Mason